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Archive for the ‘Fun Stuff’ Category

Parking Ticket

The closer people get to the retirement age, the more they are wondering about what they can do for their life not to become boring once they will be retired.
So the other day I asked this really nice and loving retired couple, living across the street and Henry told me this:

“Well, our life actually isn’t boring at all. We just try to keep ourselves busy and to enjoy our daily life.
For example, the other day, my wife and I went into town and we visited a shop.

When we left the shop, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, ‘Come on officer, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’
He acted like we were not even around, totally ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
This really made me wondering and I called him an ‘a**hole’ .  He again acted like he wouldn’t hear me. He just glared at me and started
writing out another ticket for bad tires.

The officers ignorance made even my wife getting mad, although she usually is the one who keeps a cool head.
My wife, called him a ‘s**t head’.
He finished the second ticket and added it to the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 25 minutes. The more bad names we called him, the more tickets he wrote.

By the time the bus finally arrived, he probably had written at least 6 or 7 tickets more.

parking tickets

Image courtesy of chicagonow.com

Well, we got on the bus and went home.

See, we try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired.

Having at least a little fun every day is very important at our age.”

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Light on – Light off

An 88 year old man goes for a his physical exam.  All of his test results come back normal for his age and conditions.

The doctor says, ” Joe, the exam results look really great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally?  Are you at peace with God?”

Joe  replies, “God and I are tight.
He very well knows I have poor eyesight, so he fixed it, so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof* and the light goes on.  When I’m done, *poof* and the light goes off again.”

“Wow, that’s unbelievable,” the doctor replies really amazed.

Sometime later the same day, the doctor calls  Joe ‘s wife.
“Joann, he says, Joe is doing just fine and there is nothing to worry about but I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God.  Is it really true that he gets up during the night and *poof * the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, *poof* the light goes off?”

“OH MY GOD!” Joann almost screams.
“He’s peeing in the refridgerator again!!!”

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Got A Speeding Ticket?

I got this in my email today and it gave me a really good laugh. So I thought it might be worth sharing it here and I hope it will cause you a good laugh too.  Just try to imagine if this had happened to yourself.

“I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my
picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though I knew that I was not speeding.

Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now I began to think that this was quite funny, so I drove even slower as I passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.  I tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while I rolled past at a snail’s pace.

Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

You know, you can’t fix stupid.”


By the way, when have you gotten the last traffic ticket? 😉

Buckle Up - No Excuse

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